As always I will remind that this will contain spoilers.
“The Romantics” Discussion Questions
1. At the start of the book, we learn that “rivalry glued the girls together in a way that regular contact could not”. How does their rivalry hold them together? How does competition mix with affection? Do you think rivalry can be a good thing in friendships?
Each of the girls in the group (maybe minus Lila) have that distinctly female quality where they love to hate each other. I think the fact that they are always wanting to beat each other in categories that could only matter to a wasp (weight, job, money, relationship), they are held together. How else would they be able to find out all the juicy details. They love each other, yes. I think because of the time in their lives that they met and grew close that they will always find that love for each other. I think that deep love and affection only fuels them more. Any relationship needs a certain amount of rivalry to make people strive for greatness or happiness. But I do think that these girls took it a little overboard.
2. The novel can be read as a satire of WASP culture and the privileged lives of these Ivy league graduates. What are the common traits of WASP culture in the authors description, and how do they influence the characters and the story?
WASP meaning White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Money. Nice homes. Country club memberships. Doing what ever you want because you have no need for distinction. Going to school where ever your father did. Probably doing what he did even if it has nothing do with what makes you happy. Marrying into a family with a class/distinction as high as yours.
All of our characters (minus Laura) basically live out everything I just described above. Laura comes from a part Jewish, part protestant background and though she faces challenges of her own, I don’t think she ever identifies with the WASP culture completely. I would say the biggest influence of this culture of expectation is in Tom’s choice to marry Lila instead of Laura.
3. What keeps Laura and Lila together despite their resentments? What does each of them get from their friendship?
Their hate for each other is pretty strong. Lila seems to represent everything that Laura disdains about the WASP culture. Lila relishes in having power over people she thinks are below her. And from their days in college Laura has let her do this for some reason. Yet underneath all of this I feel that they both do love each other deeply. And we can’t leave out Tom. Because of what he means to each of them and how that plays into their friendship I think this love of Tom makes them get over their resentment (even if only momentarily).
4. The author describes in great detail the landscape of the Island in Maine and the Northern Gardens estate where Lila’s wedding will take place. What role does this landscape play in the story, both symbolically and in terms of dictating the characters behavior?
The house and the grounds represent the epitome of the WASP culture. IF your house doesn’t have a name, well then it can’t really be that great can it? The wedding and all the details for it are based around the house and the grounds. Almost like they are a member of the family. The night that the group has before the wedding couldn’t have happened in any other setting than Northern Gardens.
5. “When men and women grow apart, Laura had found, it is for the same reason they are drawn together; because they are finally, inherently, too different. Friendships among women, on the other hand, were burdened by familiarity.” Do you agree with Laura’s assessment? How does this distinction play out in the story? has it been true in your own relationships?
I would say I agree with her. Alot of times in my relationships with other women that sometimes we have truly grown apart in what matters or the way we live our lives. But because of what we had shared we feel that we should stick around. It’s almost like an allegiance as creepy and cliche as that might sound.
6. How would you describe the authors method of narration in telling this story? Why do you think she chose this mode? Does the tone and style remind you of any other authors in particular?
She alternates chapters from the point of view of each character. I think she does this so that you can understand where they are coming from and what they are trying to hide.
7. “With every inch they grew apart,” the narrator says of the group of friends. “They held more tightly to each other, as though maintaining the friendships might enable them to keep their grasp on youth itself.” How do you think holding on to youth plays into each characters behavior in the story? How has it affected their lives as individuals? Are there some characters that you think are more attached to their youth than others?
Even though they have been out of college for years they (the girls especially) are trying to pick up where they left off. Almost ignoring the issues that they each have going on now in order to have that happy-go-lucky feeling they had in college. Therefore because they are kind of holding on to so many things that are proving unhealthy and unproductive for their marriages, relationships, lives. I would say because of Tripler’s career that she is attached to youth. And also Laura I think because of her attachment to Tom.
8. How did your perception of Lila change when the novel’s point of view shifted from Laura’s to Lila’s own? Did Lila become more or less sympathetic?
I think I started to dislike her more when I got insider her head. She really does not see outside herself – how her words and actions are perceived by others. I definitely did not feel sorry for her.
9. What holds this group of friends together? is it simply common history or have their attachments to each other evolved with their adult lives?
I feel it is a little bit of both. They do have their common history but they seem to have just meshed who they were in college into their adult lives and just carry all of that baggage with them.
10. Look at the game the characters play in Chapter 12. Why do you think they deliberately risk being discovered here? Do they want their transgressions to be found out? If so, why?
They play 2 truths and a lie. I think they do it on purpose because otherwise why in the world would they play this after the night they had? I would say they want everything out in the open because they were always like that during college. When they come together this time they are trying to regain what they had in college. What better way than to act like you did then?
11. This is a novel full of unhappy couples, despite the fact that they characters are mostly young, attractive, intelligent, well-educated and wealthy. What does the story say about what it takes to have a happy relationship and a happy life?
Just because you are privileged and have everything you could ever want does not mean you will be happy. Love is more important than everything else.
12. In the end, do you think Tom makes a good choice? Does Laura?
The ending is kind of up to interpretation but I would say that they both made the right decisions.
Melodiesintune 